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( art and misery )
That was a lot of rambling that might not even make much sense as I'm typing it tired, after a couple of exhausting days. So. Sorry about that xD

P.S. the right wing parties didn't get enough seats for a majority (and it seems they wouldn't even if after they finish counting the votes from spaniards living in foreign countries everything went their way). While that's good news neither did the former left-wing coalition so now everything depends on regional parties and I knoooooow everyone involved is going to be a bitch about this. There's a high probability this will end with a second election in a few months and that one is likely to end on the fascist government we just dodged. Because people are fucking idiots. This does not fit the tone of the post but I'm getting past the apathy and disdain-tainted fog election night left me with and slowly approaching anger. And so I must vent whenever I get the chance!

Current Mood: melancholy
Current Music: Alabama - Woke Up This Morning

Election day is tomorrow and I'm still in need of distractions everywhere I get them, SO.

-ONE SHORT STORY: "THE SUFFICIENT LOSS PROTOCOL" by Kemi Ashing-Giwa. A little while ago I ended up reading this & the author's other available short stories one day. This one was definitely my favourite. Especially recommended if you dig the premise of the Alien prequels and unlikeable leading women.

-ONE SONG: lately I've been listening to Jazmine Sullivan's "TRAGIC" on a loop. It's a lot of fun LOL.

-ONE FIC: one of the few fics I read to completition last year was "LAMB TO THE SLAUGHTER" by angelfishofthelord, one of my tumblr mutuals. It's a Supernatural fic (I know, I know xD) set on season 14 and going in a different direction with the "John returns" episode. Gen, Castiel & Winchesters, 85k. Perfect for fans of hurt/comfort, whump, and some torture and gore.

-ONE COMIC BOOK: "NIMONA" by Noelle Stevenson. I read it a few weeks ago in anticipation to eventually watching the new film with some friends aaaaaand. In a strange way, it made me not wanna watch the film LOL. I've heard good things of its actual content! I probably will watch it eventually! But man. I do NOT care for the film's art style... the books' was so whimsical and assimetrical and beautiful... and 2D... smh xDD

-ETA: ONE DRAWING: this super cool werewolf-themed drawing I saw on tumblr just now *-*

Current Mood: bouncy
Current Music: Jazmine Sullivan - Tragic

This upcoming Sunday there's a national election here in Spain that has everyone in a frenzy, and with good reason. In a few days I'll find out whether or not I'm going to be governed by a coalition of fascists, so I'm understandably stressed xDD

I'm semi-active in the political landscape of my area (semi, because for professional reasons, it would NOT be a good idea for me to officially join a party), so I've been doing stuff these past weeks and I'll continue to do it on D Day -basically offering free car rides to the polling station. So I really, REALLY need to decompress for a few days. In case I really, REALLY can't do it on Monday...

In that vein, I thought I'd offer a few recommendations, Just Because. It might become a semi-regular thing, but for now...

-ONE SHOW: a little while ago I finished THE MARVELOUS MRS. MAISEL. I had watched all previous four seasons last year, and although I did enjoy it, I was a pretty casual fan. But the choices they made in the final season impressed me, and were a balm after one too many disappointing journeys for female leads I've had to witness. Both Midge AND Susie were characters that resonated a lot with me, each for their own reasons, and I'm immensely happy with how the last season decided to close their stories. In hindsight, I should've had more faith: I'm one of those (inexplicably few) weirdos who LOVED the Gilmore Girls revival LOL. I think its ending AND TMMM's show that ASP knows how to stick the landing with endings I will find satisfying and, most of all, true to her characters, without concerning herself for the wrongful assumptions, misconceptions and spectations tha audience might've built in their heads along the way.

-ONE BOOK: I wanted to give a shout out to a friend's book, "WHEN THE STARS ALIGHT". The novel, the first installment in a trilogy, came out last month. If you think you'd enjoy a high fantasy book with a setting very different from the clichés of the genre, a majority female cast with weight in the narrative, heavily descriptive and immersive prose, and a gothic heroine/villain Romance (capital R) under no illusions, I'd recommend it. I posted a more detailed review of the ARC here, for anyone curious. And check out the author's page, for info on where to buy a copy (especially if you don't want to depend on amazon), other material she has like newsletters, short stories or merch, etc.

Here are a couple of pictures of my copy, because it's beautiful and I wanted to share them:

Photograph of a book, focusing on the cover. It's "When The Stars Alight" by Camilla Andrew. The cover has a dark blue background, with the title in golden yellow and the borders adorned with golden roses and stars. The bottom corners have two mirroring unicorns framing the author's name, and at the centre there's an oval framing a night sky, with falling stars, the protagonist Laila among them, falling into the earth.

Photograph of a page inside the book. It shows the beginning of a chapter (XXII, the twenty second one), preceded by a small, greyscale drawing of a rabbit in a wolf's embrace, with the wolf holding a rose in its mouth. The first paragraph it's completely visible, with the first letter adorned with flowers. It says, "AMIRA ROSE SAT HIGH ON HER SOLAR THRONE, its name reflected in the gilt carvings of sun rays that ringed the head of the ivory chair. Her brown, beautiful face emitted enough rage to outshine the merciless radiance of ten thousand burning suns. Such was the fury she felt towards the accused standing opposite her." The second paragraph is partially visible, interrupted by my fingers. "Since word had travelled [...] the water of the attempt on her daughter's life she had [...] for [...] extradition. While [...] way of tenderness [...]."

-ONE FILM: today I'm going to go with a very short film (only 4 minutes long, really), a revenge tale called "SNOW STEAM IRON", by Zack Snyder. I know he's a polarising director LMAO, but as a lover of Beautiful Aesthetics fuck anybody who objects to them, as if they mean a story lacks substance by default. This one doesn't IMO, despite its shortness. Warnings for violence, specifically violence against women, but it's not particularly explicit, by my standards.

-ONE ESSAY: "FAME, MALE PRIVILEGE AND A MEDIA CIRCUS - REVISITING ERROL FLYNN'S RAPE TRIAL 80 YEARS ON" by Patricia A. O'Brien. If this brings to mind recent events... well. Join me in my despair and fury about how we're definitely, definitely never getting out of the patriarchy.

Aaaaaand to not end on that depressing note. I made a new icon! It's Lisa Simpson, because I've randomly had her on the brain lately. If you're asking if I was one of those annoying little girls that seriously related to her... you're onto something LMAO. I'll be using her for more fandom-y stuff, since all my other icons minus my default are specific to an original WIP.

Lisa simpson dressed in a multicoloured baggy shirt, with a sideways cap and sunglasses, and a disaffected look on her face.

She looks so detached and unimpressed. Inspiring.

Current Mood: bitchy
Current Music: Aretha Franklin - Chain of Fools

One miss Elizabeth Bennet:

"There are few people whom I really love, and still fewer of whom I think well. The more I see of the world, the more am I dissatisfied with it; and every day confirms my belief of the inconsistency of all human characters, and of the little dependence that can be placed on the appearance of merit or sense."

And one Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy, earlier in the novel:

"I have faults enough, but they are not, I hope, of understanding. My temper I dare not vouch for. It is, I believe, too little yielding—certainly too little for the convenience of the world. I cannot forget the follies and vices of others so soon as I ought, nor their offenses against myself. My feelings are not puffed about with every attempt to move them. My temper would perhaps be called resentful. My good opinion once lost, is lost forever."

I must say, I feel very Seen by these particular speeches LMAO.

(Even if at the moment, I'm kind of annoyed with Darcy. I KNOOOOOOW you're meddling in Jane's romantic life, and even then she's the only one in town still trying her hardest to think the best of you regarding Wickham's bullshit. It's infuriating!! xDD)

Current Mood: bitchy
Current Music: Fiona Apple - Hot Knife

screenshot from a comic panel, taking from Batman Annual vol 1 issue 11 (1987). Jason asks Batman "But, gee-- what if penguin's really reformed? Shouldn't we give him the benefit of...". In the next panel, a guard is telling Penguin that he's free ("fly the coop already!), while Batman's voice replies to Jason, "Robin, lesson for the day: leopards don't change their spots; and penguins don't change their plumage--"

Batman Annual #11 (1987)

As I mentioned, I've started reading DC comics again, more specifically Jason Todd comics. Some new ones (or at least new for me), as well as rereading old ones like this one.

And oh, if this doesn't bring on a spiral of Jason-related thoughts and FEELS... and frustration at how little effort DC makes sometimes when it comes to develop his values & morals. My issue isn't with the fact that they change from time to time -he's young, he's developing, and that's natural. But at how little though there seems to be behind the process, beyond "yeah that'll do for this one run", and especially with the lack of intent to fully develop it. Jason can think there are situations that require killing (The Joker!!) AND that some other people can be reformed, especially as a kid who grew in Crime Alley and as such, saw first hand how a lot of crime is born out of inequality and social disparity.

Just sayin'.

Current Mood: bitchy
Current Music: Tom Waits - Clap Hands

Just as promised: a little excerpt that shows a bit about one of the central relationships from that WIP.

The girl had earned herself a reputation as a model prisoner. In almost half a decade, she had shown no signs of resistance; she had not fought back, she had nor argued or pleaded or cried, not even when she was but a child; she barely spoke out loud and only if she was spoken to first. And she had never, ever attempted to escape.
It only got you punished, that she knew. Against the common knowledge of the place, information, not blood, was the most valuable commodity between those walls. Precious few kernels of it ever made it to the prisoners, each alone and isolated from the others; but a lot of people, she’d found, forgot to keep silent in front of someone that had made herself as unremarkable and as unnoticeable as she had.
One of those kernels was about the punishment. It was never physical, that was always clear -what a waste of cattle and sustenance that would have been-; at first she found that a comfort, for she had always built her life around the goal of avoiding pain. The relief hadn’t lasted, once she crossed paths with those suffering it.
Legend said all fae had the ability to mess with humans’ minds, but that vampires excelled at it and surpassed all others. Life had left her with no refuge beyond her own thoughts, and she had no intention of given them a chance to breach them.
She was patient. She knew if she waited and paid attention, the perfect moment and the perfect plan would come to her, and she would take them when they did. She would not waste her one shot on some desperate Hail Mary; there would be no attempt to escape, because she would succeed. She would leave this place free, unbound, as powerful and bloodthirsty as any of her captors and out of their reach for the rest of eternity.
She had no way of knowing this, for she’d lost awareness of the passage of days long before, but the first part of her perfect plan arrived on the exact day of her fifteenth birthday, in the form of a guard.
The girl never noticed guards. She made a point of it; dehumanization could go both ways, and one did not need to be human to be its target. But she noticed this one, because after she served her food and arranged the wooden spoon next to the plate with compulsive neatness, she became the first guard in all her years as prisoner that looked her in the eye.
Once she became aware of the other’s presence, everything about the woman became noteworthy. Her uniform didn’t fit quite right, and it raised the suspicion that it wasn’t her own, but she was so abnormally and worryingly thin it might’ve as well had other causes. She was older than her, but one could never know how old the fae were. And she had a gnarly scar across her face the girl chided herself for not seeing sooner.
The next incongruity was that she had a kind smile. Yet another, that she knelt down until their eyes were at the same level, equals despite one’s chains and the other’s sword. The last was when she pulled a key from inside her uniform and, to her horror, knew her carefully concealed hiding spot and left it there, her eyes never leaving the girl’s.
Her heart pounded so hard inside her chest she could hear it loud and clear in her ears when the woman gave her the first gentle physical contact she had known in years, before she even knew of her prison’s existence. Both her hands enveloped her own and made the girl feel an illusion of the warmth she had thought long lost.
“I wish I could do more. But you would hate that, wouldn’t you? You need to do this on your own.” If the girl’s voice had worked, she might have tried to disagree. The woman’s smile turned sad and bitter for a second, before it cleared when she took a deep breath as she closed her eyes. She walked to the door before turning back once again, as if she couldn’t stop herself. “I wish you the best of luck, little Aemilia.”
And she walked away and left the girl alone.
Someone else might try to come with a logical explanation. They would been sure the woman had got it wrong, that she had helped the wrong prisoner. But despite never hearing those syllables before, she knew. She felt them as her own, and she knew she was Aemilia.
Or, well. Maybe not quite yet. But she would be.

And I just decided to add a shorter one, this one about Eva's childhood, that shows a little bit of the fae worldbuilding of the 'verse.

The first decade or so in the life of a forest fae was a most confusing time for such an unformed creature. Since the moment they surged from the soil as a blank canvas, fed by the magic the clan’s very presence instilled on the ground, they absorbed energy just as well as they soaked up information about the world at rapid speed. That magic pulsated under their coarse skins, an iridescent glow accompanying the musicality of their laughter that shone with every chime of their bell-like voices.

Sooner or later it overwhelmed their little bodies, and that’s when the transformation began. A chrysalis enveloped them, hardening and protecting them until they were ready to emerge in their true forms, beautifully shaped by their own will and power, so that they could celebrate their Naming ceremony.

Eva’s unfolding had been a memorable occasion for her clan. At twelve springs, she was a bit of a late bloomer in this like she was in every other aspect. The fae she grew with were almost as excited to see their little caterpillar shed the skin of childhood away as she was. Stepping out of the cocoon, butterfly wings extended way past her arms, antlers sprouting proud from her mane, lynx claws retracted at the end of her extremities, her Name in the tip of her fox tongue, Eva had experience a singular instant of catharsis.

Not three months passed since the ceremony when the war erupted, soon reaching the deepest hideouts of their woods and forcing the survivors of their clan and their neighbours into exile.

Current Mood: chipper
Current Music: Tracy Chapman - Born to Fight

A little while ago this post crossed my dash in tumblr, and I kept it in my drafts because something in it struck a chord: it reminded me of one of my oldest OCs.

Screenshot from a tumblr asks that says "Can you tell me why Frodo is so important in lotr? Why can't someone else, anyone else, carry the ring to mordor?" The reply starts saying, "but someone else could. that’s the whole point of frodo—there is nothing special about him, he’s a hobbit, he’s short and likes stories, smokes pipeweed and makes mischief, he’s a young man like other young men, except for the singularly important fact that he is the one who volunteers. there is this terrible thing that must be done, the magnitude of which no one fully understands and can never understand before it is done, but frodo says me and frodo says I will."

Now, here’s the thing with LOTR: I only read it this year. It was one of the maaaaany newsletters of classic books I’ve subscribed to since the first round of Dracula Daily started that boom. For anyone interested, I’m pretty sure the LOTR newsletter will get a second round, starting September (you can look up the organiser’s tumblr, @sindar-princeling).

I have mixed opinions about the saga. It’s an incredible, insurmountable labour of love and passion on the part of the author. As someone who loves descriptive prose, I definitely have NO issue with Tolkien going on and on about the scenery (in fact, I wouldn’t have minded even more tree descriptions!), and his style works for me. I think he created a fascinating setting that pleasantly surprised me despite my overall saturation with medieval fantasy, and that he knows how to craft endearing characters quite well. I have… complicated feelings regarding how he writes women. Mostly though, I feel- temperate, about the trilogy. I don’t LOVE the world of LOTR; I didn’t hate the experience, and actually enjoyed it more than I thought I would, but I don’t think I’ll repeat it (although I might end up reading “The Hobbit” and “The Silmarillion” at some point).

With that out of the way... about my OC.

( Read more... )

In case anyone’s interested, in a moment I’m going to post a little excerpt from “All About Eve(s)” that I wrote & post in a now inactive tumblr a long, long time ago. I’ll leave it as is, if unpolished, because although it definitely needs a rewrite (I’ve since decided on certain changes regarding the narrative’s voice, for one), it shows a little insight into old!Eva & Aemilia’s relationship, so I wanted to put it out there ^^.

ETA: here it is! With another bonus short excerpt.

Current Mood: chipper
Current Music: Hole - Jennifer's Body

I am, once more, Trying to Make Blogging Fun For Me (Again) xD

Finding myself more and more frustrated by tumblr* each passing day, I decided to make a new account here. I have another one I haven't used in over a year, paired with my main tumblr. But this (very cool, IMO) username is linked to my original stories & writeblr, and that's one of the things I'll want to talk about more here, as I (re-)develop them.

(*will I still use it? Sure. There's plenty to enjoy there, especially my mutuals & friends. I'll post the occassional gifset or graphic, etc. etc. But between the changes the site's implementing now, and the limitations of the platform itself, I wanted to give old school blogging TM another shot!)

As for what I'll post about here... as I said, things regarding my original stories (and, eventually, actual writing!!) is likely. I rarely feel tempted to go deep into my personal life online, but if I ever do, those will be the only entries locked; other IRL, less personal stuff is a tad more probable (politics, current issues, articles & essays I read...). Although it's much more likely I'll post widely known (and far more obscure) fandom stuff as I go. I love film, literature, all forms of art, and I want to discuss it more here. So you can expect book reviews (I have goodreads and storygraph accounts for that as well), commentary on films & shows, musical recommendations... the works.

For some specifics, in case anyone wants to know:

What I'm reading right now: I'm subscribed to a few substack newsletters to read a few of those classics I've missed out on (Pride and Prejudice, Sherlock Holmes, L. Frank Baum's Oz collection...), or re-read old favourites (The Divine Comedy). One of them is The Public Domain Book Club, which posts a new one each month. Right now I'm reading "The Scarlet Letter", and absolutely loving it just a handful of chapters in. I'm also reading a play, "Angels in America", and re-reading a friend's just-published novel ("When The Stars Alight", the first instalment of her trilogy; if that review entices you, I can't recommend it enough). In addition to that I have, unfortunately, fallen prey to DC again, and I'm tentatively reading comics again, old & new alike; right now I'm focused on Jason Todd, but I won't try to lie to myself and swear it'll stop there...

What I'm (soon) watching right now: at the moment I'm on a tv hiatus, but that won't last long. I want to finish the likes of "Attack on Titan" or "Battlestar Galactica" or "Dark Angel" this year, among other shows I started but never got around to finishing it. There are many many films I want to watch and rewatch; at the top of the list of the latter is Pablo Berger's "Blancanieves", one of my favourite Spanish films, since I kind of want to watch more local cinema & ~share it with the world LOL.

What I will be writing SOON: some fic, I won't lie, but I'll talk less about that here (might post links when it's posted). As for original stories, I have a three series that have been near and dear to my heart for years (especially the first two, as the latter is newer; although tbh the former have gone through so many changes as well LOL):

THE REDSTART'S LEDGER (space fantasy, space opera). In a faraway galaxy already heavily populated before it was colonised by humans, Captain Latoya - pirate, hybrid, daughter of tyrants starts her release from prison in an eventful way. She meets a mysterious and beautiful woman, steals a ship with a faulty artificial intelligence, and goes on the run from the shady organisation that freed her with a new crew of mismatched criminals.
THE WICKED WITCHES OF TRICKSTOWN (dark fantasy). Early 80s. Everyone in Trickstown, USA, knows their town is cursed, especially three young women: Sadie, a talented witch; Gillian, her complicated best friend; and Denise, the prodigal daughter returning after the murder of her last living relative... where everything points to Sadie as the culprit. / Early 00s. After years apart, the three women reunite in Trickstown, for it is a place nobody can quite escape.
THE TRAVELS OF SOYOLMAA (high fantasy, futuristic fantasy). In a world of creatures of magic alongside humans born without it, Soyolmaa, an immortal centenarian woman, has lived through medieval times into a futuristic society. Part of a now disolved order of fellow human women turned invulnerable, she's determined to continue honouring its mission of making information available to the masses. Strange adventures, hidden treasures, and historical mysteries interrupt her path.

I have some shorter stories; some are within Soyolmaa's universe, as she's a chronicler, and include dark fairytales, gothic horror, noir, etc., all within that world of fantastical sapient creatures. Others are "All About Eve(s)" (magical realism, set in the 1950s, with fae & time travel); "Beneath the Foam" (historical fantasy & horror, set in Al-Andalus); "A Child's Covenant" (revenge tale, dark fairytale); "Underground Elysium" (political fantasy, born from a harebrained idea about vampires running a protection racket in a zombie apocalypse that I took very seriously), "House of Providence" (gothic horror, mirror twin sisters + identical mother in a quaint house that hides a horrible secret); "The Wings Behind The Stage" (existential horror; an angel becomes obsessed with a play, and the actors, especially the past-her-prime diva, are caught in the crossfire); "One Over Many" (mystery; men disappeared a year ago, but Maude is more interested in the disappearence of one Odette Farrow in that same day).

And some old favourites & fandoms that I never quite leave that you might expect to see:

Books & Authors: Agatha Christie, Ana María Matute, Angela Carter, "Batman: Under the Red Hood", Camilla Andrew, "Carmilla", Charlotte Perkins Gilman, "Dangerous Liaisons", Daphne du Maurier, "El cordero carnívoro", "Frankenstein", "Hymn to Demeter", "Iron Man: Fatal Frontier", Kemy Ashing-Giwa, Marjane Satrapi, "Medea", "Paper Girls", Philip Pullman, "Pygmalion", Shirley Jackson, Terry Pratchett, "Wuthering Heights".
Films & Directors: the Alien franchise, Ang Lee, "Batman Returns", "Black Swan", "Blancanieves", Bong Joon Ho, "Colombiana", "El verdugo", "Hustlers", "Jennifer's Body", "Jupiter Ascending", "Pan's Labyrinth", Park Chan-wook, "Phantom Thread", Pilar Miró, "Practical Magic", "Princess Mononoke", "Rear Windwo", Ridley Scott, Sofia Coppola, "The Banshees of Inisherin", "The Lion in Winter", "The Terminator", "True Grit", Zack Snyder.
TV shows: "Black Sails", the Buffyverse, "Desperate Housewives", "Dollhouse", "El ministerio del tiempo", "House M.D.", "Killjoys", the CW's "Nikita", "Person of Interest", "Reign", "Scandal", "Severance", "Shingeki no Kyojin", "Supernatural" (... in a way), "Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles", "The Expanse", "The Good Wife", "The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel", "The Wire", "Underground", "Veronica Mars", "Xena: Warrior Princess".
Music artists & Composers: Aaliyah, Amaral, Amistades Peligrosas, Amy Winehouse, Ani DiFranco, Antonio Vivaldi, Aretha Franklin, Bear McCreary, Bruce Springsteen, Christopher Beck, Clint Mansell, Dessa, Doja Cat, Donna Summer, Ella Fitzgerald, Ennio Morricone, Fiona Apple, FKA twigs, Florence + the Machine, Gang of Youths, George Bizet, Hans Zimmer, Hole, Johnny Cash, Julie London, Kate Bush, Kovacs, Lil Nas X, Lyeoka, Mägo de Oz, Mariah Carey, Mirel Wagner, Mitski, Montserrat Caballé, Nancy Sinatra, Nina Simone, Peggy Seeger, PJ Harvey, Portishead, Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky, Queen, Serguéi Serguéievich Prokófiev, Siouxie and the Banshees, The Pretty Reckless, Tina Turner, Tracy Chapman.

I also like to think I'm a moderately talented graphic-maker, so I'M TAKING ICON REQUESTS, if that's something people are interested in (to see my ~portfolio LOL, just look at my icons here).

I also welcome recommendations, especially book & film recs! Adult lit, classics, SFF, horror, mystery... if you love something deeply & want to suggest it, feel free to send it my way.

Current Mood: amused
Current Music: The Halluci Nation - Burn Your Village to the Ground

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